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Community Service Isn't Just Words

Admission Essay Editing / Analysis / Revision

❶Your first sentence could describe you helping build a house, releasing a rescued animal back to the wild, watching a student you tutored read a book on their own, or something else that quickly gets the reader interested. It would be very hard to get a scholarship or place at a school if none of your readers felt like they knew much about you after finishing your essay, so make sure that your essay shows your personality.

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Why is what you did important? Did it provide more parks for kids to play in? Help students get better grades? Give people medical care who would otherwise not have gotten it? This is an important part of your essay, so make sure to go into enough detail that your readers will know exactly what you accomplished and how it helped your community. The children and grandchildren of many residents attended, and they all enjoyed playing games and watching movies together.

My job was to design and organize fun activities that senior citizens and their younger relatives could enjoy.

The event lasted eight hours and included ten different games, two performances, and a movie screening with popcorn. Almost residents and family members attended throughout the day. It also made the retirement home seem more fun and enjoyable to children, and we have seen an increase in the number of kids coming to visit their grandparents since the event.

The second passage is stronger for a variety of reasons. First, it goes into much more detail about the work the volunteer did. The first passage only states that she helped "organize a family event. The second passage is much clearer; her job was to "design and organize fun activities. The second passage also explains the event in more depth. Lastly, the second passage makes the importance of the event clear: You can discuss skills you learned, such as carpentry, public speaking, animal care, or another skill.

Y ou can also talk about how you changed personally. Are you more patient now? More understanding of others? Do you have a better idea of the type of career you want? Go into depth about this, but be honest. In order to support your statements, provide more examples. Do you get less frustrated while playing with your younger siblings? Are you more willing to help group partners who are struggling with their part of the work? I learned how to read blueprints, use a hammer and nails, and begin constructing the foundation of a two-bedroom house.

Working on the house could be challenging at times, but it taught me to appreciate the value of hard work and be more willing to pitch in when I see someone needs help. My dad has just started building a shed in our backyard, and I offered to help him with it because I know from my community service how much work it is.

I also appreciate my own house more, and I know how lucky I am to have a roof over my head. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools. Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in. A good way to end your essay is to state again the impact your work had on you, your community, or both.

Reiterate how you changed as a result of your community service, why you found the work important, or how it helped others. By leading tours and participating in special events, I became better at public speaking and am now more comfortable starting conversations with people.

In return, I was able to get more community members interested in history and our local museum. The second passage takes each point made in the first passage and expands upon it.

In a few sentences, the second passage is able to clearly convey what work the volunteer did, how she changed, and how her volunteer work benefited her community. Are you applying to a community service scholarship or thinking about it? We have a complete list of all the community service scholarships available to help get your search started!

Do you need a community service letter as well? Sure enough, after double and triple checking, the doctors could find no trace of Cancer still in her body. Another family that touched me has 5 people, 4 cats and a dog in their small trailer. Their home was in desperate need of new flooring, a roof, and a front door; all things I take for granted.

It was the personal relationships we developed with the family. When John arrived home, I helped him carry in groceries and he told me how the Lord is working in his life. A month prior, a friend of his had randomly invited him to church, so he went and prayed.

A few weeks later, Appalachia Service Project showed up asking if they could fix his trailer free of charge. John told me that to him, volunteering was his way of giving back for all of the blessings he has received in his life.

The family also had two daughters, one going into 6th grade, Abby, and a two-year old, Lily, who could really wreak havoc. Since the 2 year old is in constant need of attention, it was easy to notice that Abby was desperate for her own spotlight and needed a friend. Even though I went to their house to give them a new bathroom floor, I left Abby with not only a new friendship, but she learned how to shuffle cards and play Miss Mary Mac, things she had always wanted to do.

I enjoyed my time with Abby. She taught me that friendship and a smile can go a long way. The difference between a foreign mission trip and a domestic mission trip is that while they provide political barriers to overcome, receiving help from other Americans inspires unity. I will never forget the families we met. Their ability to open their arms to complete strangers regardless of our backgrounds is something truly beautiful.

No prejudice, only love. And to me, that is truly amazing. When you start to think about opportunities for your child to get involved, abandon this idea that community service is the most important, most impactful activity in the college admissions process. Encourage your children to think about their skills and their interests—to pursue opportunities where they will find success and stimulation and growth.

There are so many ways to do this that students should feel empowered to find a path that will be personally engaging and yes, even look good on their college applications. Every student is different, and the exploration and cultivation of those differences can create truly powerful college communities. March 12, by Ian Fisher. College Admissions Advice from the Experts is where College Coach experts weigh in on the latest college admissions topics. Applying to the University of San Franci.

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Read more from our collection of College Admission Essays and Scholarship Essays. Comment from your friendly team at College Financial Aid Advice Thank you David for sharing your college essay about your community service.

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How to Write a Great Community Service Essay. Posted by Christine Sarikas | Apr 12, PM. College Admissions, Extracurriculars. Are you applying to a college or a scholarship that requires a community service essay? Want to build the best possible college application? We can help.

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Additionally, discussing out-of-the-box community service may serve you well in other areas of your application beyond the activities section; for instance, it might make a great essay topic. Community service is a great topic for college admission and scholarship essays. Both colleges and scholarship organizations love to read how you are involved in your school or.

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college papers written for you College Application Essay On Community Service dissertation abstracts education dissertation parts content. A college essay is an important piece of a college application and an opportunity for students to show an admission committee what makes them a good candidate. College Application Essay – Facilitating the Application Process | Education Professionals – The College Board.